


paper mario colorless splash

by barrylawn



Category: Mario Story | Paper Mario
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:36:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 15,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8176897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barrylawn/pseuds/barrylawn
Summary: paper mario must travel to many different worlds to stop nintendo from making paper mario colorless splash, CAN HE DO IT?!





	1. paper meets metroid

**Author's Note:**

> paper mario world

PAPER MARIO COLORLESS SPLASH!

chapter 1 paper meets metroid

one night paper mario was on prism island when suddenly bowser showed up and kidnapped peach.

"wtf is this crap this isn't new super mario bros i wanted the thousand year door!" shout mario and instead of fighting bowser he went to find out who was giving his series shitty plots.

mario went to the first level and a colorless toad ran to him.

"help mario" said toad and then his colorlessness took over his body! paper evil dark toad fought mario. toad jumped on mario and he blocked.

"get fucking rekt" said mario and he had 49 HP left. however mario couldnt take his turn because he didnt have any cards

"wat fuk off" shouted mario and he took out his GIANT MEGASPARKLE HAMMER AND CRUSHED TOAD! mario won the battle but he didnt get any star points because this is full of sticker shit. "fuck this i want to level up why else would i fucking fight anyone!" shouted mario and he used a scissers card to cut everyone and get 99999 levels. however wen it tore the paper he got SUCKED IN!

mario woke up somewhere else

"where the fuck am i" said mario

"you are on planet zeebs" said someone

"who the fuck are you" said mario

"i am samus and i need your help in my battle against nintendo"

"who" asked mario

"they are the people who are making the despicable metroid federation force and i need to stop them because it's shit and im not in it" said samus

"they must be the ones behind paper mario color splash which is also shit so ill help you NEXT CHAPTER!"


	2. planet zebs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> metroid world

chapter 2 planet zebs

"come on mario we need take cover" said samus

"why" asked mario

"because the people playing the demo are coming and they might think were enemys"

"oh fuk run" shouted mario. they ran across the planet

"god dammit why are people even playing a demo for this shit game" said samus jumping over a shot of green

they got to a dead end

"i know what to do" said samus and she morphed into a ball and went into a crack

"oh shit wat about you" said samus but mario rolled into a tube and rolled in

"aw yeah ttyd strats m8" said mario so they went on but then WALL BLEW TO PIECES AND THE FEDERATION FORCE CAME IN!

"BAHAHA YOURE GOING DOWN METROIDS" they shouted firing their guns AND THE CURTAN FELL AND MARIO AND SAMUS RAN ONTO THE STAGE ITS LIKE TTYD!

"alright were gonna rek you skrubs" said force person 1

"no" said mario and he used earth tremor to kill them all.

"NO YOU SHOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT" shouted samus

"why they were bastards" said mario

"NOW THE GAME OVER SCREENS COMING AND WELL DISAPEER!" shouted samus

"OH NO!" scremed mario just then a hole appered and the two fell in!

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. prism island

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paper mario world

CHAPTER 3 prism island

mario and samus fell onto ruddy road

"is this your world its colorful" said samus just then a goomba jumped out of the bush!

"kill both of them!" shouted goomba and two other guys appeared. mario jumped on the first guy killing him. the goomba ran to mario then

"wait its my turn" said samus

"uh fine just kill this guy so i can attack jesus christ i thoght mario was alone in this game." said goomba

samus rolled into a ball and threw a bomb which blew up both goombas

"ok now lets find nintendo i know where to look" said mario so he and samus ran throu the plains there were a lot of bad fucks in the way but samus just shot them all. eventually they got back to prism island and todeswort was waiting for them.

"toadworth what are you doing here your not in this game" sad mario

"im here to remind you to rescue preach."

"OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT" AND SO DID I LIKE CRAP MAN SHITS GOING DOWN RIGHT NOW! suddenly a hand came out of the sky

"GTFO of here!" said the hand and it grabbed edgeworth and threw him out of the world and then it disappeared!

"holy shit" said samus

"that was close" said toddsworth but then THE HAND CAME BACK AND TOOK TOADSWORTH TOO!

"noo he took oldtoad this just got personal!" shouted mario and he and samus ran after the hand to bowsers color castle

"aha i knew it" said mario but the gate was shut "god ass it now what"

"stand back" and then A POWERFUL BEEM SHOT FROM SAMUSS ARMOR! the gate BASTED open and all the koopatrol were FRIED!

"that was ciol" said mario samus ran down the hall shhoting lots of koppas they were alredy dead from samuss beam of awesome but neither of them noticed. they got to the door and samus pickd up the gards and threw them at the door which then BROKE DOWN!

"look" said mario

"SHH they havent noticed us yet" said samus because bowser and some realistic guy were in the thrown room.

"gwahaha sounds great" said bowser and the real man waved his hand and a hole was torn in the wall and space was on the other side and bowser jumped in with the man.

"come on mario" said samus

"who was that" asked mario

"that was the mastermind of nintendo miyamoto"

"GAAAAAASP"

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. the thousand year reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paper mario world

chapter 4 the thousand year reunion

mario stood in shock at this grand reveel that he didnt notice THE PORTAL CLOSE AND THE GARDS SUROUND THEM!

"you are completly surrounded" sad koopa

"surender" said goomba

"no ill fight you all" said mario

"but you dont have any cards lol" said goomba

"FUCK!"

just then TWO OF THE GOOMBAS BEAT UP ALL THE GUARDS there was only a koopa.

"wtf" said samus but then the goombas put their hats on and mario jumped because he knew who they were

it was goombario and goombella

"COME ON MARIO AND ROBOT GUY WE GOTTA ESCAP!" shouted goombario as the room was filled with red light

"they must be making a video" said mario but goombella dragged him as they escaped from bosers castle suddenly bullet blasters got in the way but goombario and goombella used 64 and ttyd shit to kill them.

"awesome now were free" said goombella and they ran a hundred miles away from the castle.

"ok lets sleep at the inn" said goombella because it was 6pm

"ok" said mario and they went into an in.

"hello the only rules are no sex thatll be 10 coins per bed" said toad

"jesus thats too much" said mario and he gave her 20 coins

samus pulled mario aside

"wtf can you even math thats 2 beds"

"yeh were sharing" sid mario

"WAT" said samus but then they were sent into the hall

"ok im sleeping with goombella you two can decide whos getting the bed in there" said mario but samus grappled him back

"IM NOT SLEEPING WITH THIS FUNGUS" shouted samus

"touf shit bitch" said mario

"MARIO I WANNA SLEEP WITH GOOMBELLA" shouted goomario

"FUCK OFF SHES MINE" shouted mario and they were making a horrible raquet or whatever british people say but the sleeping people cudnt complain because the werent breaking any rules

goombario kept begging mario to let him sleep with her but then mario jumped on him!

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT" screamed samus

"dont worry hell wake up tomorrow enjoy your bed" said mario going into the bedroom with goombella for kink shit but it was already 7pm so samus decided to just go to bed

however at two in the morning there was HORRIBLE NOISE and samus ran outside and yelled

"WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!" but then she saw mario and goombella walking out the door in handcuffs i know goombella doesnt have hands but she grew some so they could make the arrest look official.

"MARIO WHAT DID YOU DO"

"NOTHING WE DIDNT FUCK OR ANYTHING" said mario but then he was shoved into the police van!

"dammit what am i gonna do" said samus

"lets get a lawyer i know an ace one" said goombario but samus said "no we dont have time we need to break them out" said samus

"oh your right" said goombario

LETTER

"oright whyd you do it" said policeman a (he doesnt have a name because this is color splash world)

"we didnt fuck off" said mario

"WAHAHAHAHA RIGHT" laughed police b "but we have evidence" and he took out a vido tape "this was taken by the hotel rooms secret security cameras"

"NO IT WASNT" said goombella but they played it and it showed mario and goombella fucking on their bed and the police coming in and tackling and disarming them.

"shit" said mario

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"wtf fuck was that" said cop a and then goombario came in riding a ball and it turned into samus! samus pointed her gun at the cops

"release them faggots"

the cops moved and then SHE BLASTED THEM TO DUST!

"come on" said samus and they ran out


	5. return of de federation force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paper mario world

PAPER MARIO METROID SPLASH

CHAPTER 5: THE RETURN OF THE DARK SEDATION FORCE

BANG

went the wall as mario samus goombella and goombario escaped from jail.

"COME BACK HERE" yelled cops as they gave great chase!

"no fuck off you toads" shouted samus and they ran around the corner

"AFTER THEM BOYS!" shouted cop and they turned around the corner

"you!" said cop and he ran to a woman "did ya see where they went?!"

the woman pointed to her left

"THAT WAY BOYS" the cops ran to her left and she put her helmet back on

"ok guys its safe" said samus and mario goombella and goombario got out of the trash can

"why didnt you tell me you were girl i woulda slept with you if i knew" said goombaria

"ew fuck off you shroom" said samus

"ok guys now what" said mario

"now were gonna find a way to get to planet zebras" said samus

"but how" said goombario

"hey guys my top secret gameboy papervanced is picking up portal activity on star hill which is next to prism island town" said goombella and suddenly A SHOT OF GREEN SPLATTERED THEM!

"OH NO THEYRE BACK" yelled samus pointing to her left and THE FEDERATION FORCE WAS FLYING AT THEM WITH THEIR BRAN NEW BOWSER JETPACKS!

"AH CRAP" yelled mario and goombella and they flipped sides and samus rolled into a ball and blended in with the rocks

"where did they go" said force guy 1

"i dont care ARREST EVERYONE" said force guy 2 and he pointed and the cops from earlier charged forward into town

"oh no theyre being mind controlled by brain metroids" said samus because she saw metroids above them

the cops charged and tackled all the green yellow and blue toads in the village and then goombario because he couldnt flip and they threw them into their policecops van and drove away to star hill

"wtf happened" said goombella

"they arrested the colored toads and goombario now they made me mad" said mario

"but what could nintendo be planning" said samus

"hmm good question" said mario but he shrugged "fuck this lets go to star hill and stop the evil shitholes"

so mario samus and goombella went to star hill to stop bowser and miyamoto and the force

"wait guys stop" said samus

"what now" said mario

"my advanced hearing aid is telling me there is crying and moaning coming from DIRECTLY BENEATH US!"

"oh maybe its a baby" said mario because he could see some guy in a red suit carrying a baby up the hill and he was being chased by polar bears.

"no i can hear a thousand people crying someone must be abusing their kids!" said samus

"we have to stop them bowser and nintendo can wait" said goombella and she took out her shovel and starting digging at a rabid pace

WILL THEY STOP THE BAD PARENTS FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER


	6. parent koopas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paper mario world

PAPER METROID MARIO SPLASH

CHAPTER 6 PARENT KOOPAS

"huff huff huff" goombella panted as she dug into the dirt

"come on goombella hurry" said mario and hearing his voice motivated her to keep going it was soooo-

"HURRY" samus shouted puttung a gun to her body

"AGH OKAY SHIT!" she screamed and 2 seconds later the hole went into a room and goombella fell in

"uh wattf" said cop

"AGH ITS A TTYD CHARACTER ARREST HER" screamed a nintendo guy

"wait wait" said a goomba and he went to raep fucking but mario saw through his plan AND JUMPED IN AND LANDED ON HIM!

"AH ARREST HIM TOO" shouted nintendoman "OH WAIT HES IN COLOR SPLASH FUCK!

samus jumped down and shot nintendoguy

"OMFG MARIO LOOK WHO YOU STOMPED!" shouted samus and mario looked down

"OH NO" he shouted because it was goombario

"its too late for him lets go" said goombella

"ok" said mario and samus and they ran through the halls without looking back to see the metroid float back to goombario

the three ran through the halls until they got to the prison where they found a bunch of colored toads toadsworth and edgeworth too (lol anyone else remember that)

"you you help me out" said edgeworth

"ok first we need the key" said mario because edgewort wasnt paper and coldnt use paper tricks

mario decided to go into cells so he ran in

BANG

"ow my fucking head" said mario

"wtf happened" said goombella

"i dont OH NO THE POWER OF PRISM ISLAND WONT LET ME USE MY PAPER ABILTIES!" yelled mario

"FUCK YOU RIGHT" shouted goombella

"whats all the noise" said a koopa and he turned the corner "aha intruders"

mario screamed and hid

"cmon mario lets figte" said samus

"its only a koopa you can beat jt easily" but then the koopa laughed

"no he cant and thats because MIAMOTTO MADE THE CARD SYSTEM!" laugh koopa

"AGH YOURE RIGHT" screamed goombella but samus pointed her gun but nothing came out

"gad dammit" said samus and mario turned to her like he had an idea but he was cut off by a great tackle

"haha your all under arrest" said koopa and they couldnt fight him so he threw them all into sepeate cells

"shit now what" said samus but then she realised she had a bomb left "oh hell yes"

meanwhile

"gad thats genius i bet hes in here too" said mario

TO BE CONTINUED


	7. DUNGEON!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paper mario world

PAPER SPLASH BROS

CHAPTER 7: DUNGEON!

samus rolled into a ball and rolled down the prison isles. she suddenly herd voices and went into an airvet.

"yay we finally did it" said koopa green

"yea now mario wont bug us anymoe" said koopa red

"and now he cant fuck that gooma anymore bet hes crying cause hell be a virgin forever" said green

"yeh but thats too bad hes in P64 and shes in T1000 there nowhere ner eachother lel" red

"lol idiots" said samus

"who said that" saud green

"FUCK" shouted samus and she started running to aile P

"STOP BREAKOUT" yelled red

MEANWHILE

goombells was in her cell cry

"DAMMIT DAMMIT I DONT WANNA BE HERE I WANNA BE IN MARIOS SMOOTH SKIN"

"rely"

"yeah"

"then comeain" said mario who was on the other side of the bak wall

"MARIO THATS YOU IM OK HERE THEN"

"but im not ther"

"FUCK ok try get here"

on the other side mario was serching for a way into goombellas sell

he moved the bed and found a crack

"AHA ILL GO THROUGH HERE" said mario and he banged his head "shit tight i forgot"

mario lokked around some more and found a black chest witch he opened.

DUNDUN DUNDUN DUNDUN DUNDUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!

"BAHAHA YU RELEESED ME HAVE CURSE" yelled the yellow eyes and mario was cursed

"YOU FUCKING DOOMD BR0 FROM NOW ON YOU CAN SLIP TRUE CRACKS I KNOW YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT IN THIS GAME BUT THATS WHY THEY TRUE ME IN HERE OH AND I ALSO CURSE THE CUT MUSHROOM NEXT TO YOU ANYWAY SEEYA SUCKER"

"NOOOOOOO" screemed mario and he punched the wall how culd he have been so stupid now he was doomed

"mario use the fucking cuse to get in here"

"oh right" mario went through the crack and his clothes got tore off in the process

"shit opps" said mario

"oh well you can replac them" said goomballa and then SHE TRIPPED AND HER CLOTHES FLEW ALL OVER THE CELL

"ow" she wouldve said bu she landed on mario so she was more than just fine.

samus finally got to P64

"MARIO IM HERE" she yelled but noone was there just an open black box

"now we got you" said red

"shit" said samus and she ran but there were to more in her way she was surrounded

"now samus you will suffer the wrath of THE KOOPA BROS!"

"OH NO" screamed samus as they stacked up. they spun and lit up andshit and then THEY DAS AT HER but she hit them and the fell

"you guys are FAIL! you need to leave here" she laughed but then A WAVE OF BROWN PICKED THE HEPLESS KOOPAS UP

"OUR HERO" said yellow

"WHO ARE YOU" said black

"i" said the brown "am metbario"

TO BE CONTINUE


	8. BOWSER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paper mario world / metroid world

NEW SUPER MARIO BROS WII

CHAPTER 8: BOWSER

"ahhh" screamed samus as metbario jumped on top of koopa bro tower.

"u goin down!" shout metario and they HIT SAMUS AND SHE WAS SENT THROUGH THE WALL!

"OWWW" she yelled but it wasnt samus it was goombella who samus fell on!

"guys get your cloths on!" shouted samus and they got dress.

"ah theyre trying to escape" shout red who saw they broke the wall down

"kill em" shouted black and red green black and blue took out their guns and before they cud fire GOOMBARIO KOCKED THEM OUT!

"HEY WTF PAL!" shout red

"OOPS I TRIPPED SHIT!" screamed metbario but hen MARIO HAMMERD THEM ALL WITH HIS GIT MEGASPARK HAMMER!

"owowowowow" said all of them i mean they sad one ow each there were five of them. the koopa bros die but metbario came out of goombarios BODY!

"WTF HAPPEN" scream metbario and goombario headbonked him.

"lol fuckig weak."

evryone was so happy to have goombario back but then A LOUD SHAKING SHOOK THE ROOM!

"oh no!" screamed samus and then THE FEDERATION FORCE RETREAT TO THE PORTAL AND CLOTHES!

"NOOOOO OMFG GOD FUCK YOU PORTAL!" screamed mario

"now what"

"I GOT IT! GAD!"

"gad?"

"yeah e gadd hes not allowed to be in this gaem so he must be here somwere."

"i donno who e is but oh well" said evryone else.

mariu took out his e gadd tracker and it started beeping yellow.

"hes close he mus be over there" mars pointed at the cell and an old man came out.

"hoo hoo hoo hello" said e gadd

"pofessor we need your help we must get to samus world." said goombella.

"ok" said e gadd and he shot them with his portal gun and THEY ARIVED IN META WORLD!

"wow tha was easy" said samus but then they realised they were surronded by fedreation enfources. "fucking shit man"

"GWAHAHA" roared the air and they turned around and BOWSER WAS THREE! "SO YUR HERE GESS I BETTER FED FORCE YOU ALL!"

"NO" screamed goombario but the force took out their guns.

"DIE!" yelld bowser when suddenly a giant spiky bubble saying "OBJECTION!" appeared and IT PEERCED THE FORCES ARMER AND THEY BLEW UP!

"WHO DARES YOU?!" rored bow

"I DO" yelled a voice and EDGEWORTH LANDED!

"GWAAR?"

"bowser you are under arest for POWER ABUSE AND MURDER AND TAKING OVER TWO WIRLS!" shouted edgey and a RAGING FIRE BURST OUT OF HIS FINFER TO ARREST BORS BUT BOWSE LAUGHED AND BREATHED FIRE ON HIM KILLING HIM!

"SHIT THIS SHIT MARIO SAMUS FORGIIIIIIIVE ME!" screamed edgeworth and he died.

"who was that" said goombario

"dont no but WHO CARES LETS KILL BOSER" shouted goombella

"BA HA HA!" laughed bowser be cause he meant busness "YOU CANT KILL ME PAPER FUCKS" and bowser took ou his real world belt and A RAGING WIRLWIND FLEW MARIO OFF HIS FEETS AND THEN WEN THE FOG DISAPPERED REAL WORLD BOWSER WAS THERE!

"BURN!" he yeled in fucking rage

TO BE CONTINUED!


	9. turnabout bowser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> metroid world

PAPER SPLATOON MISADVENTUERS

CHAPTER 9 - TURNABOUT BOWSER

mario got on his feet

"FAGET ILL BEET YU 100%!"

"BWAHAHA!" laugh bowser beecaus dat was de most hilarious ting hed evr herd "nice try mario but yur paper IM REAL WORLD NOW!"

"but so am i" said samus

"shit"

"and i have guns"

"shit"

"and bullets"

"SHIT!"

samus FIRED HER LAZER!

"BWAAAAAAARGH!" lazered de lazer!

"NO!" shout bowser and he used his real world strats to roll into ball "bwaHA!" bowser rolled into samus and knocked her onto back and den he jumped and did body slam but JUST DEN!

"NOOO SAMIS" shout goombario and he jumped into bowser stomac

"OWCH!" shout bowser "paper bad!"

"ar yu ok samus" said gommbario sweatly

"eww fuck off mushroom!" shout samus OUCH rejectioned!

bowser started up a fire but wile he was doing dat mario and goombella wer redying an attack.

the plan was mario would take out a red shell and theyd take turns kikking it at bowser

"great move huh i lernd it in som alternative universe" said mario

they start kicking at de shell and it hit bowsers ass and got stuck

"BAAAAAAAAAARGH?!" screamed bowser and de shell start spinning and it was like it was fukking him like a dilo

"AAAAAAARGH!" screamed bowser der was only one way out for him no so he chage back to paper and de shell flew into space

"DAM YU MARIO!" shout bowser and he charged at him and grab him and smash him. goombella tried to hedbonk but boser caught her

"ALRITE SAMUS AND GOOMBA TING GIV UP OR I KILL BOAT!"

"NOOOO MARIO!" shout samus but goombario start tinking

"kill... WAIT SAMUS I NO WAT TO DO!" and he took out a 1 up and threw it on de grond. it ran away but den just wen it tohght it escapd it vanished when it hit ashes. de ashes changed shape!

"bwahahaa!" laughed bowser "now come faggots were going to mothe-"

"OBJECTION!" shouted a voice and EDGEWORTH WAS ALIVE AGAIN! "you ar udner arrest for KILLING PEOPLE AND PERJURY AND DISTURBING THE PEECE!"

"BWAH?" shout bowser "get real pal yu make a step and ill kill mario and goobella"

"hmph..." edgeworth shrugged confident "or will yu"

"hurgh?"

REBUTTAL

"wat are yu talking about pinky?"

"OBJECTION!" shouted edgeworth "MY SUIT IS NOT PENK!"

"yeh it is stop be colorblind"

"NYAH! (dat was wasteful!)" said edgey and he got penilized

"nobody can do anything to me"

"HOLD IT!" shout edgeworth "and whys dat"

"...let me finish"

"sry"

"if anyone takes a step i will murder mario"

"OBJECTION!" shout edgeworth "you ar bowser and hes mario YOULL KILL HIM AYWAY!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAA" shout bowser

"hey hes right" said goombario

"lets get him!" said samus

edgy shook his head

"no matter wat yu do YOUR DOOMED TO BE DEFEE-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" edgey suddenly burn to deth by bowser flame

"lol hes really having a bad day" said goombella and den SAMUS FIRED A MASSIV LASER AT BOWSER AND HE FLEW AWAY!1

"ok now what" said mario

"boser sed somthing iteresting" said samus

"oh yeh he mentioned his mother"

samus shook hed

"no... he was talking about mother brain!" suddenly samus zoomed in edgeworthlike "BECAUSE BOWSER DOSNT HAV A MOTHER!"

"WOOOOOAAAAHHHH" shout mario "clever"

"but wheres mother brain" said goombella

"ill show ou" said samus and dey went to a place

"ok" said goombario open de door "lets go in"

"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

"shit"

"YOUU LITTLE FOOLS!" shout a man voice and MIYAMOTO CAME FROM ROOF LIKE A NINJA "TODAY YU DIE!"

"TO BE CONTINUE" shouted me


	10. ninjas and nintendo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> metroid world

PARAKARRY ESCAPS FROM PRISOOOOOOON

chapter 10

NINJAS AND NINTENDO

"MITAMOTO" shout samus pointing "YOU ar the cuplrit behind paper mario color splash"

"HAHAHA" laugh motto "YES I AM!"

"battered yur going donw" said mario redying his giant megasparkle hammer

"no im not not until YOU GET TO DE END OF DIS EXITING LEVEL!"

and miyamoto jumped into sky

"shit hes making us do a nsmb level" siad mario

"piss off m8 dis is my world" siad samus "wich meens theyre metoid levels"

"watever nither fit in a paper mario game"

"ugh guys SHUT UP" shout goombella "LOOK NINJA COMING"

mario and samus turned from there bitch fite and saw humans from netendno rushing at dem wit trowing star shurikens and sword and stuff

"AAAH" shout mario but samus shot dem all

"water we going to do?" SHOTU GOOMARIO

"ah they swords are sharrrrp" shout goombella

"swords are sharp... WAIT GUYS I NO WAT TO DO!" shout mario and he took ot his cel phone and dilled a number

"hey link"

"hoi"

"how far awa ar yu from planet zebes"

"actually im about to CRASH LAND DER RITE NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

BOOOOOSH

A MASSIV ROCKET LANDED ON BILDING AND CRUSH NIJAS AND LINK FLEW OUT

"OWWCH" shout link "YUR DED!" ad he took out his sord and killed a buncha a ninjas in de face

"OW" shout ninja "HES OVERPOWER!"

"yeh well dats wat ya get for messing wit de hero of hirule FUCKERS!"

"EVRYFUCKER FALL BACK!" shout de ninja commander

"GUYS LOOK ITS DE BOSS!" shout goombario

"lets get him"

and den samus roll into ball and goombario got on and goombella got on and den mario got on goombella and it was rely akward and dey boat turn red but forgot abot it wen dey saw de PIECES OF SHIT GETTING AWAY

"COM ON GUYS!" shout link getting on mario and den samus started SPINING! AND MARIO TOOK OUT GINT MEGASPARK HAMER AND LINK HIS MASTER SORD!

they SPUN ACROSS HALLS KILLING BAD FUCKS AND STUFF AS DEY WENT

"hahahahahah" laih link "WERE UNDEFETABLE LITTLE SHITS"

"JESUS CRIST LINK STOP SWARING SO MUCH WERE RATED T!" shout mario

"shit sorry"

but den goombario ot dizzy and evryone flal off but samus didnt notice and kept spinning awak from dem

"SAMUS COM BACK!" shout mario

BAM

NINJA COMMANDER CAME DOW ON DEM AND SURROND HIM BECAUSE HE HUGE SNAKE

"SNAKE!" shout mario

"SNAKE" shout goombario

"SNAAAAAAAAAAKE" scream goombella who secretly feered snakes

"AHAHAHA TODAY YU ALL BURN NOW DAT GUNWOMAN IS GON"

"well kill yu"

"no yu wont now dat metroid is gon yur stuck wit paper mario gamplay exept COLOR SPASH gamply!"

"watever well still O FUCK I HAVNT BEEN COLLECTING COLORS!" shout mario

"HAHAHAHHA" laugh snake

"um im here" said zelda

"SHIT DAT MEENS YYU CAN USE ZEDA GAYPLAY"

"get rekt m8" said link and he stabbed som eye

"OWCH" shout master "but wait link" said snake "did yu no you have been used"

"...used"

"yes. has mario not told you his plan"

"what plan"

"hes planning to DESTROY nintendo"

"NITENDO!? IS DIS TRUE MARIO"

"uh yeah theyre giving us color splash and federation force wich is gay trash"

"WELL THEY ALSO GIVING US ZELDA WII U WICH IS BADDASS AS FOC!"

so link jumped on snakes head

"YOU WILL PAY FOR DIS" and he jumped out window

"dam now wat" said goombellaand she looked at feet "OH GUYS LOOK LINK DROPPED SOME PAINT!"

"WOAH SHIT NICE!" said mario and he pick up the yellow paint and painted his giant megasparkle hammer and CRUSHED SNAKE

"NOOOOOOO" screamd snake and he disolve

MEENWILE

samus was rolling don de gall at de speed of sund

"wait WHERE DID DE GUYS GO god dam it"

she stop spinning and saw she was surround by moar of de FEDRATION FORCE!

"now minions" said MODDER BRAIN WHO WAS BRAIN CONTROLLIN DEM "DESTROY SAMUS AND YULL HAVE YOUR GAME"

samus prepared her gun nothing could prepare her for dis

TO BE RECYCLED


	11. rocco doesnt get rekt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> metroid world / animal crossing world

ROCKENDS69 GOT REKT!

CHAPTER 11

ROCCO DOESNT GET REKT!

(chapter title ispired by fic name wich was sugested by acejakkidfan so credit)

samus ready her lazer and FIRE!

BAZAP!

BUT FEDERATION HAD ODER PLANS!

the plan was dey stop time and ot their shit togeter by wich i meen they got there GUNS TOGETHER BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

"fuk HARDER HARDER!" shout samus pressing de beam button on her gun deper buther lazer was geting weeker until theyre lazer was almost on her

BUT DEN

A FISHING POLE TING HIT DEM IN HED AND PULL

"AHHHH" screamed a federeatio force man and his loss weeked theyre lazer and SAMUS BURN DEM

"WHO WAS DAT" shout samus and a green hippo came down

"I AM ROCCO AND I SHALL DEFEET VILE MINIONS"

"oh ok"

so rocco and samus rushed at deferation force and kill a bunch of guys with guns and or fishig skill

"ROCCO HOW YU DO DAT" shout samus

rocco threw fish pole at force guy and helmet FLEW OFF

"ha!"

rocco punch de man i face

"dammit" shouted moter brai "FIIIIIIITE"

"no" said force

"wat why"

"BECAUSE" shout forcemen "WE ARE NOW BEING CONTROLLED BY TROLLS!"

"WAAAT" shout moder brain adn evryone started killing eech oder and otders were kicked for killig teemates

"WTF IS GOING ON" shout motor brian

meanwhile in de real world

"LOLOL" laugh rockinds as he banged de control like a retard person "hey mcook kil me if yu can faget"

"i can BOOM" shot cuck

"you have been kicked from metroid priem fedration force... fucker" said metroid prime feration force

"jesus crist wat" said mcook "FUK DIS I WANNA PLAY"

"yah well dats too bad dats your punishment for killing team" said miymotto

"god fuck it"

"dos dat meen i can play again" said rock

"no"

"fuck"

"well dats covenient" siad samus dogging the lazers from angry trolls

"STTTOPPPPP" shout mother bryan but they didnt stop until eventually they wer all either dead or banned from de server

"FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK" shouted brain "I SHUDV KNOWN TRUSTING REEL WORLD HUMANS WAS BAD PLAN! FINE ILL FITE YU MYSELF!" shout brain but just den

rocco threw his fishing pole into it and pulled out a VITAL ORGAN!

"YAYAYAYAYYAYAHAHAYYAHYAYAYAHYAAYGBA" shouted moth "FUK YU ROCCO ILL REMEMBER DIIIIS" and brain ran through portal to heal

"WE GOTTA CACH IT HIPPIE" shouted rocco

"but wat about mario and goombas"

suddenly samus was hit by massive hammer

"damn yu smash you abadon us" shout mario

"oops sorry" said samus

"COME ON MARIO WE OTTA CHASE MOTHER BRAIN" shout rocco and the five of dem ran in"

"where are we" said mario at the other side

"we" said rocco "are in my world"

"WAT"

"good" said rocco "i have a trial starting soon"

"a trial" said goombella

"yeh im a prosecutor and i must defeet apollo justice in court"

"wats de crime" said goombario

"being part of nintendo and making a shitty animal crossing game"

"WAT"

"guys quick" shout mario and de four of dem hudled

"we can take down a nintendo person dis is great" said goombella

"but how" said goombario

"i know" said mario "well testify as witnesses"

"but e didnt see anything" said samus

"just lissen to de prosecutor and follow along" said mario

"hey you" said mario

"wat is it hippie im busy"

"were witnesses"

"bulshit hippie how can yu witness someone being in nintendo"

"we saw dem in building"

"reat hippie lets go to court and beat apollo fially" said rocco

TO BE CONTINUED


	12. apollo justice vs rocco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ace attorney world?

APOLLO VS ROCCO

CHAPTER 12

TAKING DOWN A NINTEMOLE

mario samus goombella and goombari wer preparing their lies

"ok guys so if he calls us out dats what we say"

"mario this is HORRIBELL plan" said samus "but watever"

"WATS a horrible plan HIPPIES" shout rocco "I DONT TOLERAT HIPPIE LIES"

"were not lying"

"den i expect you to!"

rocco storm into courtroom

"APOLLO JUSTICE TODAY YOU DIE"

"wow hes excited" said goombella

"OH GUYS LOOK A LETTER" shouted goombario pointing to window

"wat does it say" said oombella wen mario grab the letter

"dear team mario if apollo finds a cotradiction in your testimony a tragic fait awaits you

from nobody"

"who could it have been" said goombella

"TEEM MARIO GET IN HERE" shouted rocco

"tats us" said mario and they went in and to de witness stand.

a big old guy with beerd and red guy with hors wer with rocco

"names" siad rocco

"paper mario" said paper mario

"samus" sais samus

"goombella" said gombella

"goombario" siad goombaria

"wtf whore all dese" said de red devil man who was apollo justice ace attorney roccos sord rival

"we are just 4 guys trying to stop nintendo from releasing paper mario color splash and metroid federation force" said samus

"and we are making or first attack by TAKIN DOWN AN EMPLOYEE!" shout goombario

"ok ok just testify" said rocco

WITNESSES TESTIMONY

"(ok guys remeber your lies)" wispered mario

"we wer planning our next attack on nintendo inc" sad samus

"we had a great plan btw" siad mario

"nobody cares" said apollo

"we went into de building" said goombario

"and right there! we saw atena in ther" said goombella

"she was getting something stamped hich must have been to say she clock in" said mario

"OBJECTION!"

apollo pointed and threw sumthing in MARIO FACE

"OUCH" shout mario but nooe herd him

"what is dat hippie" shout roco

"dis is de evidence rocco resented it was a mugshot wit de nintendo stamo o it and look at de stamp yt was from YESTERDAY if you examin it"

"yeh so" said rocco

"A DAY AGO AS WEN ATENA WENT THERE" shout apollo and everyone gasped in his face

"dammit hes onto us" said goombella

"dont worry bakup plan" said mario

"DIS MEENS SHE WAS THER FOR ATOGRAPS" shout apollo

"OBJECTION HIPPIE!" shoted rocco "i presented evidence against that" said rocco and he presnted the clock sheet "dis is de ticking sheet hav a look yur honor" said rocco handing de sheet

"hmmm i see"

"see hippie" said rocco playin wit his rod "dat stap is alos the de clock stamp"

"WHAAAAT?!" screamed apollo

"ORDER!" shoted udgey

"NOW testify abot THIS witnesses!"

WITNESSES TESTIMONY

"dats right it was de clock sheet" said mario

"she sign in and got de stamp" said samus

"dats because she had to clock in" said goombario

goombella cudnt tink of somthing so she blurted out stuff

"so she stamped de stamp sheet" said goombella

"HOLD IT!" shouted apollo "so it was the stamp sheet"

"cmon apollo its FUCKING OBVIOSU" shoted goombella "it was a small square and white"

"OBJECTION!" shouted apollo "gombella how did yu just describe de sheet"

"small squar and white" said goombella shivering

"well look at dis" said apollo presenitng de sheet "its small and white but ITS RECTANGLE!"

"WATWATWAT?!" shoted goombella

"DAMMIT GUMBELLA YOU EXPOSE US" wipsered samus

"OBJECTION HIPPIE!" shotued rocco "tats ridiculos hippy she was just a mistake!"

"OBJECTION!" shotued apollo "why wud she say it was sqare OBVIUSLY BECAUSEWAT SHE WAS WAS SQUATE!"

"WAAT?!" shoted rocco "BUT DEN WHOS DE INTENDO PERSON"

apollo slam edsk "i tink it was ROOKE!"

"WAT?!" shoted rocco "WHY"

"BECAUSE HES AN OPPONENT CONNECTED TO ME BY FATE!"

"DAMN!" shotuted rocco "ROOK GET IN HERE"

"wat about us" said mario

"YOU GUYS FAIL! FUCK YOUR GAMES!"

mario and samus and goobella and goobario wer sent out to lobby

"well fuck we were after wrong person" said mario

"at least rooke is going down" said samus "wich meens we helped catch a rciminal"

"hey your rite" said goombario

"we did de right ting"

rooke was declared GUILTY and atena was aquitted

"tanks apollo" aid atena

"hey apollo" said mario "lets go celebrate with amiibo festival"

"OBJECTION! shout apollo

"ok ok" said mario

"lets go get burers insted" said goombella

"NO OBJECTION!" shout apollo

so de six of dem went to eat burgers

day wanted rocco to come but he was mad and went home

"hey i thought we were in aminal crossing world" said goombella

"oh they co exist" said apollo

"...dats weird" said goombella "all game worlds should have their own wolrd"

"so why are we in same world" said apollo

BOOOOOMBOOOOMBOOOOOMOOMOOOMOOOOMOMOMOOOOMMM!

"WT FUCK!?" shotued mario and A GIANT ROBOT CAME OUT

"GWAHAHA" laughed mechabowser

"AH ITS GIANT BOWSER" shout mario

and den his hed open up and BOWSER CAME OUT

"AAAH ITS NORMAL BOWSER" shout mario

"no idot its me" said bowser nad he turn into miyamoto

"AAAH ITS NINTENDO PERSON!"

"and me yu faget" said a fat man who was eggman

"who are you" said mario

"we team up to make big robot and mess with the worlds dats how mitamoto was able to change de laws of paper mario world"

"hehe" laughed miyamoto "yu shudve seen dis coming i told yu dis morning"

"no you didnt" said goombella but she checked de note aain and saw dey read it wrong it didnt say from nobody it said FROM EGGMAN AND MIYAMOTO!

"HOW DID WE ALL MISS DAT?" shotued samus "god damn it"

suddenly robot foot came raining down on burger shop

TO BE CONTINUE?


	13. EGGMAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phoenix wright world

WALUIGI X WADDLE DEE

CHAPTER 13

E.G.G.M.A.N.

CRASH

"AH"

mario samus goombella and goombario ran out of burger shop

they saw apollo and atena runig away

"WATI" shouted goobells

"leeve dem oobella" said samus

"yeh we cant hav humans on dis dangerus adventure" said mario

"but your huma" said goombario

"made of paeper"

"wat abot samus"

"uhh im robot"

"ok"

BANG

"DID YOUS FERGOT IM HERE" shouted eggman

"today you DIE eggs!" shout mario and den SONIC CAME AND KILL EGMAN

lol jk your on yur own dis time guys

"fuck yo autor" said samus

HOW DAER YOU IM MAKING EGGBOT LEVEL 9999999999!

"AAAAH" scram samus as eggrobot got bigger and spikier and purple

"LOL ITS PEENK!" laugh mario

"WAT NO ITS BRITE RED" shouted eggworth

"peenky girl" said mario and goobella and goobario and samus who are all laugh at eggman ad his pink

"NOOOOOOO" screamed eggman and he got out and started paintig his robot red but den mario HIT HIM WITH MEGASPARKBRUSHEL HAMMER AND HE DIE!

the robot then crimble ad blew up but miyamoto was GONE

"shit" sad mario "we gotta find myamoto"

"but where woud he go" said samus

"hmmmm" thought goombario

"wait" said goombella "HE MUST HAV GONE TO HIS WORD"

"his world wats dat" said mario

"it must be were human life is strong since humans maek dese games ad shit" said goombella "O WAIT MABE HE LIVS IN DE REAL WORLD?!"

"YES" shout samus "we shoud go there"

"but how" said mario

"we should use a protal" said goombario

"ok but where is ther a portal"

"BOWSERS CASTLE!"

"but dat disappear" said samus

"no but myamoto used somthing to open portal it mite still be ther"

"hmm your riht okay were goin to bowser castle"

"wait" shout mario

"what"

"how are we gonna get to bowser castle if were in phoeix wright world"

"oh shit" said samus

"ummmm maybe we can hav phoenix wright objection up a portal" said goombario

"stupid" said goombella

suddenly a taxi pulled up ext to dem

"HEY KIDS GET OUTA DE WAY"

maro turn to him

"oh yur not keeds yu have a stache i aknowledge yu as a true ma" said taxi pulling his stach "unlike baldface guy i de back"

"OBJECTION!" shouted de spiky hair guy in de taxi and it was so loud a portal rip open

"THERE GUYS THERES OUR WAY OUT" shout mario and they all went in

ad they fell into the middle of prism island

"were home" shout oombella

"im not" said samus i mean phoenix wright because he was sucked into the portel too oops "jesus crist guys i need to et to kurain ad saev maya from evil guy in de prolog cutseen"

"FORGET DAT" shout mario "WE GOTTA STOP NITENDO!"

TO BE CONVEXED IN BROWSER CASTLE


	14. castle fite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> paper mario world

METEOR SHOWER

CHAPTER 14

TEH CASTLE FITE

"there it is" shout samus pointing at boser castle

"ok were goig in" said mario

so mario samus goombella and goombario went into casel

"wow its big in her" said goombario

"de portal cud be anywere" said goombella

"hmm ok" sad mario "goobario and samus ca serch downstairs and ill serch upstares witb oombella"

"why upstares and why gombella" said samus

"no reasons"

so dey went into their groups and mario and goombella went upstares and went through the first big door wich was bowser bedroom

"oh fuck yes" said mario time to get sixty nine

AT SAMUS AND GOOMBARIO

wile mario and goobella were fucking off fucking samus and goombario were at the investigation places

"where is the portal" said samus and they found a bar in the ext room

a guy wit a green shell came out

"can i help you" said barman

"sure id like to know where the portal room is" said samus

"its in bowser bedroom" said barman

"ok" said samus

WAIT WAT

mario and goobella got out from bed and dey wer sweting and breaething hevy

"dat was fun" said mario "now lets go look for portal" so mario took out his portal senser and it turn red

"wtf" aid mario and the sensor BLEW UP

AND A PORTAL APPEAR!

BUT THEN A HAD CAME OUT

IT WAS MASTERHAND

"MASTER HAND" shout mario "YOUR DE ONE WHO KINAP TOADSWORTH AND EDGEY AND ALL DOSE ORIGINAL CARACTERS!"

hand laugh

"mario your patetic did you relly think you coud sto AAGAGAGAHHA MY EYES"

"sorry" said mario and goombella putting der cloths on

"tanks" sad had "now mario your patetic did you relly think you coud stop miyamoto"

"yes i did and i stil do" said mario and he took out hammer but MASTER DRAIN IT!

"dat shit is OP mario yu cant use it anymore"

"NNNNNNNNNNNNO" scrameed mario

"NOW" shout hand "DIE"

so mario and goombella started fiting hand but they had no cards

"jesus christ tis game is trash" said mario

BAHAHAHHA" laugh master "i guess all youcan do is flee but THIS IS BOSS FITE YOU CAT RUN!"

"SHIIIIT" screamed mario "SCREW YOU COLOR SPLASH!"

AT BAR

"SHIIIIT SCREW YOU COLOR SPLASH"

"MARIO?!" shout goombario

"mario in danger" said samus getting up from her drink

suddenly SOMTHING GLASS HIT HER IN HEAD

"shit right your wearing helmet" said barman

"WAT ARE YOU DOING"

"am stopping you" said barman and he took off his shell and it was LINK "TO DEFED NINTENDO WHO AR MAKING ZELDA WII U!"

"fuck you link were stopping dem" aid samus

"no you wont MINIONS!"

the windows OPENED AND GREAT GUST FILLED ROOM

"AAAAH" screamed samus and a bunch of paraenemies flew in and then the doors opened and shy guys wit spears charge in and pokeys fell from ceiling and koops rolled in from small holes in the wall ad then BOWSER THE FINAL BOSS BROKE DOWN THE WALL

"wait a fucking minute" said goombario "these are all normal enemies no original stuff"

"hey your rght" said samus "wats wit that"

"all the bad original guys are in prison" said bowser

"damn he has point" said goombario

"NOW MINIONS AND BOWSER" shouted link "FITE!"

samus took out gun and started hitting guys with bullet things and missiles NOT the dog!

HANDLAND

WHIRWHIRWHIIIIIIR

master hand rocket around hitting mario evrywhere he was focusing on him specifically because if he died the game over wold apper even if goombella was live so she didnt matter too much

"OWOWOOWOW" screamed mario as he was thrown onto bells

"FUK YOU HAND" shout goombella trying to suck paint out of the red carpet

"HAHA YU CANT DEFEET ME YOU HAVE NO CARDS"

"SHIT" shout mario

"now lie down and die" shout hand and he SMACKED THE FLOOR BUT MISSED MARIO

BUT WHAT HE DID DO

WAS MAKE FLOOR CRUMBLE

"WTF IS GOING ON" shout samus as rocks fell from ceiling and hit link in head

"oww wat was i doing" said link because he had amnesia like phoenix in the lost turnabout

"you were fighting these guys" said goombario

"oh right" said lik and he started cutting guys up

"GWWARGH" raged bowser "fine ill crush you myself"

so bowser approach smash and goombario when he was CRUSHED BY A GIANT WHITE HAND

"ow spiky" said master hand

mario and goombella fell and de goombella had idea

she sucked the blue paint out of goombarios hat and the yellow paint out of her hair and mix them together to maek green and then she looked around bodies and got jump cards hammer cards and SPIKEY HELMET CARD AND SPIKE BALL CARD

"MARIO USE DIS" shout goombella throwing spiky cards at mario and the red yellow and blue paint

mario combined dem all to make green and brown paint and use them to make gree spike helmet and brown spike ball

"ouch... OK MARIO DIE" shout master hand as he recovered "WAT WHY ISNT MY TURN"

mario took out his new spike ball card and threw it at master hand

"YOOOWCH" shout master hand "HOWD YOU KNOW MY SECRET WEEK SPOT?! RRRRRRGH"

master PUNCHED MARIO IN FACE AD HE FLEW BACKWARD

"MARIO DOT GIV UP" shout the tree others and mario got up ad used the spiky helmet card and put it on

"you tink that paper spike ca kill me?!" shout master hand and he raised himself in sky and flung himself down to crush mario but he CUT HOLE IN HIS HAND

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" screamed master hand and he die and release lots of paint

"we did it" shout mario and he grabbed all the paint

"but the portals gone" said samus

"dont worry i found a how to make portals book under the bed" said goombella giving it to mario

mario red it

"ok we need the help of a paint bucket partner" said mario

"i thought ocs werent allowed in this game" said goombario

"exept this guy" said mario taking bucket out of pocket

"now bucket" said mario giving him yellow and blue paint (minor trivia: if yo mix those two you get green) so bucket made green paint and paitned it on wall and portal appear

"OK IN WEEEEEEEEE GO" shout mario and they all flew to real world

TO BE CONTINUED


	15. kyle hyde exposes the culprit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kyle hyde world

LAST WINDOW: THE SECRET OF PROFESSOR LAYTON

CHAPTER 15

THE CULPRIT EXPOSED

mario and samus and goombario and goombella landed in big portal

"where are we" said mario looking around wherever they were it had some damn realistic graphics

"WAIT FUCK WERE NOT IN GAME" said samus "WE ARE IN"

"hello people" thye turned around and saw a guy in a suit

"A VIZZAL NOBLE" shouted samus

"my name is kyle hyde and im a salesman look at my stuff i have everything"

"ok do you have a portal" asked goombario

"uh no" said kyle

"damn" said mario "better look for that portal"

"why yous want portal" said kyle

"because we must stop nintendo" said samus

kyle stare at samus

"nintendo huh" he stare at all four suspicious "come with me"

kyle took all four to a big building

"who are these kyle" siad an old woman

"dont mind me mags they have info"

"i see" said mags going back to work

"who that" asked goobella

"she own this building shes nice" said kyle

they went to room 202 and kyle turn handle

"damn its locked where my keys" said kyle looking threw pockets

ZAP

"WTF" shouted kyle because samus had blasted door across his room "ok that works"

they walk in

"now tell me" kyle said "why you stop nintendo"

"uh no reason" said mario

"hmmm... hang on pal" said kyle "i think it has something to do wit them being crap"

mario turn red. i know hes already red but hes turn red because kyles onto him

"so that beggars the question why are they carp" asked kyle

"uhhhh"

"lemme gess they are making bad games"

"HUH" mario shooked

"mmhmm got you" said kyle

"(damn this guys good he could be useful)" thought mario "your right kyle we cant hide anyhting from you" said mario

"right so theyre making paper mario color smash and metroid federation fourth" said kyle after they explain "hmmmmmm ok we gotta find a portal"

suddenly the phoen rang

"yeah" said kyle

"KYLE YOUR LATE WE GOT A CLIENT" shouted the phone

"ok ok ed coming down now" said kyle slamming phone

kyle mario samus goombella and goombario got in car and drove to the phones work place

ed was sitting in his seat wit his feet on desk sleeping

"hey sexy" said secretary

"is she talkin to me" said goombella

"fuk you bitch" shouted mario at the secretkeeper

"who ar these rude gests kyle" asked secreter

"you fuckers she was talkin to me" shouted kyle

"oh fuck well she shouldve been specific" said bellboy

"yaaaawn" yawned ed and he woke up "urgh rachel tell dat lazyass kyle that ill fire him if he doesnt show up"

"asshole" said kyle

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" shouted ed "um um i was talking aboat kyle... rivers."

"lmao no such persone existing" said kyle

"damn" said ed "anyway you have a client"

"hi" siad client "looking for these things at hotel night" said the man and he gave a list that just said "portal"

"hmmm" kyle glare at man "i got you"

"what"

and KYLE TOOK OUT HIS POLICE GUN

"HANDS IN DE AIR MIYAMOTO!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shout mia "whered you get gun"

"i kept it as souvineer after i left force"

"...force" said samus supectious

"...police force" said kyle "ANYWAY YOUR UNDER ARREST"

"why" said mamotto "ive done nothing wrong"

"mmmm i think youv been doing bad things" said kyle

matta gasped

"w-wat things"

"things like... SHIT GAMES!"

"AAAAAAAAGH" screamed matoo

"THIS MEANS" shouted kile "dat YOU WORK FOR NITENDO! THE MASERMIND INFACT!"

"DAMN YOU KYYYYYYLE RIIIIIIIVEEEERS" shouted miyamoto and he took out portal gun and shot it and left

"AFTER HIM BOYS" shouted mario jumping in and samus goombario and goombella followed

kyle ran to it

"not so fast kyle you gotta find the portal" said ed

kyle picked up the portal

"found it"

"oh"

suddenly the portal SHRINK AND DISAPPEAR

"haHA no adventures for YOU kyle" laughed ed

"fuck"

TO BE CONTINUED


	16. MARIO DIES!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghost trick world

FIFTY SHADES OF PALE

CHAPTER 16

MARIOS DEATH

mario landed first in a forgotten world

"welcome mario" said a deep voice and then the lights BANGED ON!

"TO YOUR DOOM!" shouted miayamota and den a giant grim reaper appeared SLICED MARIOS HEAD OFF

LIKE HOLY SHIT HE DIDNT HAVE TIME TO REACT!

"BAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed mia "now i just have to kill de others!"

"uuuuuuuuurgh" moaned mario "wtf happened"

"you died" said a voice

"GOD IT THAT YOU!?" shouted mario

"no its me" said a guy in a red coat and wird yellow hair

"who are you" shouted mario

"i am sissel and im gonna save your life"

"your a bit late pal" said mario

"nonsense nonsense" said sissel "allow me to show you my power"

suddenly the red backround started spinning and a clock appeared and it went backwards!

and mario was SUCKED THROUGH THE RED BACK!

===3:40PM - KYLE HYDE WORLD===

===4 MINUTES BEFOAR DETH===

"KYLE YOUR LATE WE GOT A CLIENT" ed shouted at the phone

"WTF IS THIS" shouted mario

"yeah weve gone back in time to mess around wit the past and change your future and stuff" said sissel

"ok ok ed coming down now" said de phone

"lazy shitbag" said ed closing de phone

"WAIT" shouted sissel and time stop and he reach out and barely reached de phone jut before ed cud slam it down

"ok im in" said sissel and time started agian

"rachel remin-" said ed but then sissel TRICKED DE PHOEN TO RIGN!

"BAH who is it this time?!" shouted ed and he picked up hone to his ear

"HELLO?"

time stop again and sissel went up to top of shelves to look at tools

"hmmmm" sissel looked at eds shit

"well hes a salesman hes otta have all sorts of crap right" said mario

sissel cudnt find anything useful so he continue time

2 minutes later the door BUSTY OPEN and kyle hyde came in with mario goombella goombario and samus

"hey its me" said mario

"indeed maybe we can use this" said sissel and then he saw he cuold reach the door handle so he did

unfortunately kyle left de door open the lazy fuck so sissel tricked it shut

"creepy" said kyle

"oh hey sexy" said rachel

"is she talkin to me" said goombella

"fuk you bitch" shouted mario at the secretkeeper and his voice was SO loud it shook de room

"wait" said sissel stopping time "i saw something stick ot of secretays desk der"

so sissel moved to de left of the room and looked at the desk

"hmm this is weird" said sissel and he went into the thing and tricked it

"who are these rud- AAAH"

SUDDENLY A METAL OBJECT FLEW ACROSS DE ROOM

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH" roared ed "KYLE DID YOU TURN THAT ON?!"

"NO!" shouted kyle

"WELL IT WASNT RACHEL BECAUS SHES A GRIL SO WHO WAS IT WAS IT YOU STACHE MAN?"

"NO" shouted mario

"WHO ELSE CUDVE DONE IT?!"

"me" said sissel

"kyle pick dat up" said ed

"wait i can use that i have to get it to mario!" shouted sissel and he tricked through door to right side of room and tricked de bell

DING

"oh ders our client" said kyle leaving de jetpack

FATE CHANGED

"SUCCESS" said sissel

"not yet i need to pick it up" said mario

"ugh fuck" said sissel

kyle went to door

"um there noone here" he turned and walked back in

but then mitamota came in disguised as miyamoto

"hi" siad matta "looking for these things at hotel night" said the mano and he gave a list that just said "portal"

"hmmm" kyle glare at man "i got you"

"what"

and KYLE TOOK OUT HIS POLICE GUN

"HANDS IN DE AIR MIYAMOTO!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shout mia "whered you get gun"

"i kept it as souvineer after i left force"

"...force" said samus supectious

"...police force" said kyle "ANYWAY YOUR UNDER ARREST"

and kyle did his epic deduction and miato screamed

DEATH IN 5 SECONDS

"DAMN YOU KYYYYYYLE RIIIIIIIVEEEERS" shouted miyamoto and he took out portal gun and shot it and left

DEATH IN 4 SECONDS

"AFTER HIM BOYS" shouted mario

"NO I HAVE TO STOP HIM" shouted sissel stopping time "WAIT I CAN MOVE ONTO PORTAL HOLY SHIT" so sissel climbed over the portal and used it to get on the roof

he got on poster really high up and tricked it so it came loose but didnt fall because convenience

"AAARGH MY IMPORTANT POSTER" roared "SOMEONE FIX THAT"

"but how do we get so hgh" said kyle

"ill do it because im de only one who cna fit into jetpack" said mario and he put it on

FATE CHANGED

mario jetpacked up to wall and fixed poster

"good work mario i wud hire you if you wernt so fucking rude" said ed

"OK GUYS LETS GO" shouted mario running into portal

mario landed in a forgotten world

DEATH IN 3 SECONDS

"welcome mario" said a deep voice

DEATH IN 2 SECONDS

and then the lights BANGED ON!

"TO YOUR DOOM!" shouted miayamota and den a giant grim reaper appeared

DEATH IN 1 SECOND

DE REAPER WENT TO SLICE

"trick" said sissel and the jetpack TURN ON AND ZOOMED UP

"WHAT" shout reaper and then sissel moved to giant boulder stuck in cave wall and made it roll and it crushed the grim reaper

FATE AVERTED

"holyshit" shouted mario "thanks m8"

"any time" said sissel and mario warped back to real world

AND DEN SAMUS GOOMBELLA AND GOOMBARIO LANDED IN THE WORLD

"where are we" said mario

"FUCK YOU ALL" souted mato "that shudve killed you i dunno wtf happened but YOU WONT SURVIVE NEXT TIME" and miayatto ran to find de portal home "if der is a next time YOULL NEVER SURVIVE THE WORLD OF DIS NES LAND!"

mario and guys ran up stairs and found demselves in middle of an 8bit graveyard

TO BE CONTINUED


	17. ghosts n goombas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghosts n goblins world

GET OFF MY BARRYLAWN

CHAPTER 17

GHOSTS N GOOMBAS

ding, ding DING dingdingding DING- dingding

and den suddenly mario and goombella and goombario and samus landed in a graveyard and it was reeeealy pixely and there war sombees and gools and halloween stuff but ther was also some naked guy and a girl on de ground and den a big demon appear and came down on dem AND SAMUS BLASTED IT TO LITTLE PIECES

"hey tf m8" shouted naked man "that was plot important now i cant start the gaem FUK YU SKRUB"

"jezus sorry" said samus "next time ill stand back and watch yu two get raped by a big satan

suddenly de woman started floting in de air and it was rellly glitchy and stuff and she went pixely and started bugging and shit and vanish

"uhhhhhh i gess i better go?" said man and he grab arm-

ZAP

he burnt to deth

"no dis is our story" said samus and they ran across graveyard killing people and blowing up graves

"aaah" screemed gommbella and she hedbonked a zombie and it die and dropped somthing

it was a knife

mario walked into the knife and he power up into KNIFE MARIO hes like fire mario exept he throws nife

"oh, FUCK" shouted mario "i just walked right itno a new super mario bros item DOD GAMMIT IM SO STUPID"

"mario shut up" said goombario

"yeah dont take it off its sex- ITS useful" said goombella trying to hide dat it looked reeeeaaallly sexy on him like shit it was barely covering his dik

they jump over an ocean and the ghosts were all like

"you cant come past here"

"well kill you"

"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" they wailed like maya in ace attorneys anime

"aaaagh" sreemed goombella as they pick her up but mario cut them with knifes because that was an emergency more serious dan color splash and federation force combined and now samus is trying to shoot me for shitting on their mission

"aaaaaaaaaaagh tank yu mario" scramed goobella and they got on de ground and goobella got his unexposed dikc into her

"AAAAAAAAGH JESUS GET UP" shouted samus "WE GOT ARRESTED FOR THAT LAST TIME!"

"ugh fine" siad mario getting up

they crossed the forest and there were lots of ghosts and stuff

"hey guys look the exit" goombario ran across and then he was ALMOST CRUSHED BY A BIG MONSTER

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed monster

"AAAH YOU ARE WHO?" screamed bario

"I AM UNICORN!"

"...wat" said barriolawn

"YES AND ME MUST KEEL YOU SATANS ORDERS"

"lmao no" said mario and he SPAMMED HIM WIT NIFES AND HE DIE"

"NOOOOOOO FORGIVE ME SATAN"

"satan" said mario "lol hes lame villain"

"shut up hes best villain"

"hes patetic ive foght him before and he was WEEK wat was the story called again? apollo justice turnabout portal? i dunno but it was by jakkid166 and it was funny as hell.

"mario satan... satan..."

"wat? WAT"

"satan is... is... GAAAAAAAAAA-"

unicorn died and a key dropped

"damn thats stupid what could satan be?" said mario and he picked up the key

LEVRL 2

mario and others landed in town

"wow theres a town" said samus "wonder if it got shop places for guns"

she knocked on door and a white guy opened up

"yeeeees?" said wite guy

"my name is samus apron and i want to buy gun"

the guy picked up a speer thing

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH"

"AH FUCK GOHST FUCKER DIE!" screamed samus firin her lazer and the ghost

and den MORE GHOSTS CAME OUT

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed mario and oter people running away and they shot it it with beeams and knifes and they all die

"ok" said goombarrylawn "lets look in that house" he pointed at house and then a knife came out and they jump over it

"ah fuck" shouted goombella

"ok shit there are goblins in there kiling them now" said samus rushing in and blasting them all ded

they set up a base and ate stuff

"hey guys" said goombarry and he point to top right "you ever wonder what that numbers for"

"ITS TICKING DOWN" shouted samus "IT MUST BE A BOMB"

"WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE" shouted goombary

"COME ON MAR- uhh?" said samus and saw mario and goombella were upstairs doing kinky shit

"ok fuck them lets let em die"

"wHAT" shouted goombario

"cmon theyre a liability and you know it" said samus

"ugh your right lets go"

they ran down ladder and ran across back lawn jumping over rivers and past the houses and rided the elevators on those houses

"fucking weird neghborhood around here" said samus

they did platforming skills and got to end

TICK

"AGH ITS AT TEN!"

they ran to the cave at the end

TICK

"SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKERS" shouted unicorn

"YOOOOUUU"

TICK

samus blast him to dust

TICK

"WHERES THE KEY"

TICK

"ITS WIT ME!" shouted THE OTHER UNICORN

TICK

"FUCK" shouted samus and she fired

TICK

BUT UNICORN JUMPED OVER IT AND BEHIND HER

TICK

HE GRABBED GOOMBARIO AND TURN HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND SHOOK HIM

TICK

AND DEN SAMUS FIRED AGAIN AND HE DIED

TICK

AND SHE GRABBED THE KEY AND THE TIME STOPPED

and den mario and goombella teleported to them and they were

"PUT CLOTHES ON FUCKERS"

"ack sorry" said thema nd they spun and there were cloths

"ah mario you fucking retard you took off the knife suit"

"oops lol" said mario

they went through the door

BATS CAME DOWN ON THEM

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed them but sumow samus blasted dem all

"WTF DATS NOT EVEN FAIR" shouted samus and theere was also zombees surrounded them incoming and they bet dem

"how tf is naked man supposed to get through all this" shouted mario

"i dunno just run"

they ran past the crap and into a blue cave with edvils and peopel like dat until they got to end where DRAGON WAS

"YOU" shouted dragon

"what" said goombario

"I AM DURK AND I WILL KILL YOU TO MAKE DEFENSE ATTORNEYS LEGAL" he roared breathing fire

"uhh i think they already ar-"

"SHUT UP DATS JUST JAPANIFORNIA I WILL KILL YOU" shouted durk and he breathed fire on dem

"um ouch?" said maro because it was very weak flame

"AAAAAAAAAGH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK-" his rage BLEW HIM UP

"lol weakling" said samus grabbing key

they den crossed a long bridge it was easy as fuck and then they got to where dragon should be but he wasnt there because he was ragin

"lol wow hes really taking dat personally" said mario taking key

and then they climb a really tall tower and made it to stan

"DIE" shouted satan

"satan i will kill you"

"lol ok human who r u again"

"a guy who beat you"

"DONT REMEMBER" shouted satan killing them

and den samus blasted him to death

"wow is that all" said samus

"i told you he was weak"

and den someone came out of the shadows and it was ANOTHER SATAN!

"WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shouted goombella "HOW"

"DIE HUMAS" he shouted but he got hit by a sheeld

"where you get that" said samus to mario who had sheeld

"dunno but it worked dint it" said mario grabbing key

"bAAAAHAHAHAHA" laughed satan "foolish mortal only those with the sheeld can fight real me"

mario held up sheeld

"hahaha gud luk on your own mario" said satan and mario went in

mario alnded in room and saw satan

"ha hello mario" said satan

"satna i will kill you again"

"BAHAHA you didnt kill me i was still alive to testify about phenix getting hit by car in phoenix wright dank attorney by jakkid166 who was in that story

"then ill kill you now" shouted mario

they foght and mario threw sheelds at him but it was usless

satan breath fire on mario

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"NOW HUMAN" shouted satan "die"

"MAROI" shouted samus and she fired her beams at satan from outside and it hurt

"WAT" shouted satan

"ha makes sense doesnt it that barrier only applies to humans without sheeld but beams can still go through kek"

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaah" shouted satan and he burn to death

goombella goombario and samus then weaped into room

the woman from before came out to reward dem but then mario saw something behind her

"GUYS LOOK ITS THE PORTAL"

he jumped on the womans head killing her and they ran through portal

TO BE CONTINUED


	18. reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> barrylawn world

PAPER PLANE RACING

CHAPTER 18

REALITY

"AAAAH" shoutd mario before landing in a weird place with goombella and goombario and the other person what was his name again oh right it was samus and it was her oops lol

"where are we" said goombella

"hmmm i dunno lets ask around" said mario

they knocked on some guys door and some guy came out

"hello" said some guy

"hi" said mario "where are we"

"HEY WAIT YOUR MARIO GOOMBELLA GOOMBARIO AND SAMUS!" shouted some

"uh hi"

"YOUVE FINALLY MADE IT HERE!"

"who are you and where are we" said goombella getting annoyed by the bs

"my name is barrylawn" said me "welcome to the real world"

"hi" said mario "were looking fo-"

"miyamoto"

"shit yeah howd you know"

i showed them my notepad

"ive been writing your adventure ever since you arrived on prism island"

"wait i thought intelligent sistems did that" said mario

"yeah but they hired me to write your next adventure since hey suck at it so yeh"

i took them inside and we all ate cookies and milk and went to bed

and then i woke up in the morning and saw mario and goombella having sex again but i wasnt surprised because i wrote this fic so i knew theyd fuck for no reason thats why i wrote this scene.

"GAAH IM SICK OF THIS CRAP" shouted samus and she BLEW MARIOS HEAD OFF

AND THEN I USED MY AUTHOR POWERS TO BRING MARIOS HEAD BACK

AND THEN THERE WERE TWO MARIO HEADS IN THE ROOM

"fucker" said mario and he picked up the mario head

so anyway we left the lawn estate and drove down to united states town a real town in the united states of america which is where i live.

"ha ha ha" said de stupid people "its barrylawn still writing stupid fic- AAAH WHAT" shouted them because mario goombario goombella and samus were real HA I TOLD YOU SO YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPIIIIIIIIID!

"guys2 shouted me "those guys work for nintendo!"

"WHAT" shouted mario taking out his hammer

"DONT LET EM GET AWAY" shouted samus

they attacked the stupid idiots and they went down in -2 seconds because they broke down in shock of how awesome i was before mario and others could attack kekkekkek get rekt idiots

samus grabbed de last idiot alive by collar

"WHERE ARE THEY"

"WHO"

"WHERE IS MIYAMOTO AND NETEDNO?!"

"THEY THEYR IN JAPAN!"

"fuck" shouted samus throwing him to floor

"FREEZE" shouted a car and the doors opened and damon gant the chief of police was there with his boys and his dogs "MURDERERS!"

"AAAAH" shouted the fourt but barrylawn (woh holy shit IM in this story now isnt that crazy?) stepped between dem

"police stop" said me "these are the cast of paper mario METROID splash theyre doing this for a good cause which is to stop paper mario color splash from being released"

"OOOOOOH" siad gant "false alarm boys" and the police left and everyone applauded me for stepping in and saving their asses and then they all carried me off to the award show where mario gave me the award of mario defense like in that one fic where phoenix wright got an award.

so i went and got all the money in the world which is, if you didnt know, $9000000000000000055555 but i gave it all away to people because if i didnt noone would have money so everyone would die so REMEMBER TO TANK ME WHEN YOU SEE ME IM A HERO!

"well done barry" siad goombario

"hey guys" said me

"what"

"look this award has a teleporter to japan in it"

"wow" said samus "lets use it"

so they went to japan

"shit" said me who was still with them "it brought me too!"

"well whatever lets go kill miyamoto" said mario

we all ran to find nintendo base

TO BE CONTINUED!


	19. japanland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the real world

GOD DAMMIT, WHO SPILT THE PAINT?!

CHAPTER 19

JAPAN

mario goombella goombario samus and me who was still with them walked down the japan and there were all sorts of traditional japanese things and people and it was too much for my traditional american mind to comprahand

"hey samus" said goombario "where does the map say nintendo hq is" because samus had bought a map at item shop after we arrived

"it says here that nintendo inc is... around the corner"

"WOAH SHIT AWSOME" shouted mario and we all ran to the left but there was NO nintendo hq

"samus you stupid fuckhead its not here"

"fuck" said samus "hey come on its written in japanish i had to just guess what it said!"

mario fire flowered samuss head

"well NOW wtf are we supposed to do were lost in fucking japan!"

suddenly I JUMPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GROUP!

"HOLD IT! HEY GUYS I HAVE AN IDEAAAAA!" shouted me who has joined them on their quest "we shud all split up so we can find it faster"

"THATS AN AMZING IDEA" shouted mario and they all clapped for me and patted me on the back for coming up with this genius plan.

sooooo anyway. we all split up and i decided to go right because it was a t junction so there were two corners. i walked down the right path.

AND I FOUND NINTENDO HQ BEFORE MARIO AND SAMUS AND OTHERS BECAUSE IM AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!

"wow ok" said me "well guess ill wait for them"

so i went across the street to the noodle stand eldoons noodles i know thats in america but its also in japan so w/e

anyway in case you wonderin where mario is right now heres his POV

MARIO POV

mario and goombella were walking down the japan road and they were doing dirty things to each other so samus sighed and passed them because they were really fucking and really fucking annoying.

"jesus crhist you guys were tame for like 10 chapters why are you suddenly fucking again" said goombario who also passed them

"lol" siad mario continuing the fuck

"uhhh" said goombella "mario look in there"

mario looked in there

and there were a bunch of cupples fucking

"that must be the sex shop" siad bella and they went into the sex shop sounds sexy right?

(AUTHORS NOTE: btw guys in case you are wondering what i was doing right now i was at the noodle shop. yknow, remember? how i impressively found nintendo ltd and decided i deserved a reward so i went there to eat? in case y forgot

"now sir" said eldoon the owner "thatll be 5000000000 yen"

"WHAT" shotued me "fuck off" i grabbed him and PUNCHED HIM TO THE MOOOOOOOON

"AAAAAAAH" screamed everyone and then the police barged in

and then they and everyone else screamed again and they ran to me and bowed before me because i was literally god and i had broken the world record for farthest person thrown sender it was great i got another award too. but anyway back to the story)

so samus was stampeding along not listening to the sex sounds on mario and goobella because ick

goombario was with her

"ugggh can you hear them i can" said samus (LIAR!)

"yeah theyr so gross" said gombario (LIARS! LIARS EVERYWHERE!)

"hey cud you stop- HUHHHH" houted samus seeing they were GONE

"where they go?" shouted samus "ohhhhh right we were meant to split up lord barry told us too."

"where should we go" said goombario

"hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I HACE AN IDEA!" shouted samus and she grabbed goombario and ran at 100000 tails per hour until they got outside the FAMOUS JAPANISH TOWER which if you didnt know is a really famous tower in japan that is REALLY tall taller than big ben and the eifell tower on top of each other and you can see everything in japan from the top its like magic! ever hear of it?

"lets go!" shouted samus picking goombario up and ranning up the spiral starecase and they were getting really dizzy and fell down and everyone laugh at them becaue they were like drunk but they got up and kept going until they passed the moon where they saw some guy crying and they got to the top and looked down

"hmmmm" said samus looking through massive telescope "AAAAAAAAAAGH I SEE IT!"

"where is it"

"it was around the OTHER corner JESUS FUCK IM SO STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID"

"dammit why didnt we think of that?" shouted goombario "lets get mario goombella and barry"

speaking of me i just got the police to pay for the noodles

its great to be me

so samus ran down teh street looking for mario and goombella and me

"woaaaaaaah" said goombario looking in the widnow because there was sexy goomba sex inside

"ok ok" said samus "its just goomba s- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" she yelled seeing goombella was the goomba and mario was the guy

THEY RAN IN

"MARIO GOOMBELLA WAT ARE YOU DOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING" she yelled angry pointing her gun at them

"ah sorry" said them getting up and they went to leave

"im sorry" said the creepy 40 year old man "goombella cant leave she works here now"

"WHAT no i dont" said goombella

"yeah you do you have to FUCK people"

"oh sounds great"

wario walked in

"waaaah!" he farted

"goombella fuck the gustomer"

"WHAT NO!" shouted goombella "im outta here!"

"NO YOUR NOT" shouted creep "you sign the contract you cant leave!"

"WHAT" shouted mario and he got out his phone "hey apollo goombella signed up for this weird thing in japan is she legally allowed to leave? ...fuck"

he put away his phone

"she cant leave"

samus pointed her gun at creep

"you let ehr our rite now you fuckhed" her face shined true her helmet and creep sweated

"huff huff you YOU you should sign up too!" creep grabbed his sign up board and samus blasted itto fire

"oh look its gone come on goombella" said samus

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" shouted creep grabbing his gun "i kill you now!"

"FUCK" shouted mario adn they ran for cover as bullets started flying everywhere

"BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA COM ON OUT MODDER FUKTERS!" he opened flame on all the prostitutes and the guys sexing and a buncha people died outside

"WHERE YA HIDING" shouted creep looking for mario samus goombario and goombella who was under table having more sex with mario "I THINK ONES NEER" he yelled gtting close to mario and goombella "HA!" he crouched under table but they were GONE

"huh" aid creep getting up and the two flipped back to normal

the creep was standing there very confused and mario got out and swung his giant megasparkle hammer and KILL him!

"ok that was stupid" said goombario

"wait guys" said mario pulling a card out "its a key card to nintendo ltd inc hq!"

"we really shud decide on a name for dat"

TO BE CONTINUED IN MAYBE THE LAST CHAPPPPTEEEEEEEER!


	20. nintendo hq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nintendo world

KEVIN DIRTBAG'S ADVENTURE CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20

NINTENDO HQ

BY BARRYLAWN

mario put the nintendo id card into scanner and they all ran in except me im too important to be doing work so was just relaxing in noodle shop with my fans the police

but mario and samus and all them they werent so important and it was too late to go home now so they ran into nintendo hq ready to kill scrubs

"so" said a nintendoman "wats the plan for defenderation force"

"bahaha whether samus likes t or not were going ahead with it" said man 2

"yessss" said man 1 "and then all the kids will cry when its not metroid normal"

"KEKEKEKEKEK" laughed man 1 "yeh bet theyll all be crying like an anime fan on prom nite"

"LOLOLOLOLOL" laughed man 2

"hey" said samus stepping out wit her gun out

"AAAAGH" screamed man 3 "hide"

the three ran but samus blast them

"damm..." said man 2 "stupid fools you cant stop mayamoatto!"

"why"

"because myamoto... IS.. GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

he died

"damn why cant we find out this stuff" said goombella

"ok so theyre going ahead with feddation force thats our priority to stop"

"what about color splash"

"we havent herd from that since e3 they probly stopped t LETS JUST FIGHT FEDERATION FORCE!"

"ok"

so they all searched the rooms

there was lots of people trying to stop them but theyre heads went flying off because laser canon (damn dat things cheeper than marios giant megasparkle hammer)

"guys do you heer that" shouted goombella because there was voices behind door

"keheheh exelent job marilyn now throw de shit in the publishing machine" cackled a witch voice

"gu-hu-hu!" laughed a deep voice

"NO!" mario HAMMERED DOWN THE DOOR

"ACK its mustache man!" shouted beldam de shadow siren whos working for nintendo that little witch "KILL THEM MARILYN"

marilyn sunk into de ground and rised next to mario and slapped and pick him up by face

"GUHUHUHUHU" laughed deeply marlon

"HEY ONLY I CAN DO DIRTY SHIT TO HIM" shouted goombella headbonking her breasts

"GUUUUHHH" sasped mary lon

"ACK I MUST PROTECT THE MASTER COPY!" beldamn clutched the master copy of metroid federation force and ran for window

mario hammered marlions face and she dropped him and he jumped and hammered bed to the ground and grabbed copy

"AAAACK DIE" she used freezer power but the four had left and it froze marilon

"NOOOO MY SISTER ILL KILL YOU MARIO!" she screamed and she went into floor and appeared in the hall in front of them

"KAAHAHAHAHAHAHA" she screamed before goombario multibonked her and he had been charging the entire fight so it did like 90 damage or some shit like dat

"AAACH THATS CHEAP" she screamed and she died and dropped 100 star points

"aaah finally" said mario and he upgraded his health "ive been at 49 hp all day!"

samus turned

"guys look its miyamoto in there"

miya was in the room

"now then" sad may "i just have to publish color splash and im done"

"dammit what are we gonna do" said mario

samus looked at mario

"i have a plan" she said and she raised her hand

and suddenly MARIOS HEAD FLEW INTO THE ROOM

"WHAT THE FUCK" shouted miyamoto and he ran over to the mario head "hes ded!"

"yes" said voice "because i killed him" said samus walking in

"YOOUUUU"

"you seee" said samus "i was just using him to get close to you i want to be vice president of nintedo"

"wow" said matta "your hired"

"ha ha now to spite him more lets see color splash"

miyamotto gave samus the master copy of color splash

"exellent..." said samus... AND THEN SHE TOOK OUT HER GUN AND BLASTED IT!

IT WAS STILL THERE!

"uhhhh" samus sweated as miyamoto glared at her "just checking its indestructible!"

"GARDS" shouted mayatoo and the federation force flew in and then goombella goombario jumped out and so did mario because the head was actually the head from chapter 18! ooooo shit!

so anyway they jumped on the forces heads and shot fire and beams and headbonked and they killed them all in 5 seconds because they were the federation force and federation force is the weakest metroid game ever makes sense rite?

so they kill em all and ran out

"GOD DAMMIT WHO THE HELL WAS PLAYING THOSE GUYS?" shouted miyamole

MANWHILE

"aww shit" said the skruby 8 year old throwing the controller for federation force "welp were ded lets go play doll of duty!" the skruby kids ran off to play crap of duty

"daaaaaaaaaamit minions i TOLD you to bring it to the oldest age group you cud find!" shouted iatoo

"but sir everyone older just laughed at us and told us the games crap!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT" shouted miyamoto and he turned to mario team who was trying to escap "YOU gave the world that idea! DIEE!"

and miyamoto took out his cell phone

"boys get over here"

beep and he put it away

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE DOOR

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE WINDOW

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE CLOCK

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE TV

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE CHAIR

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE CURTAINS

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE SHOES

A PORTAL APPEARED IN THE EVERYWHERE IN THE ROOM AND MIYAMOTO WAS STANDING IN DE MIDDLE LIKE A MAGIC MADASS

FURNITURE FLEW EVERYWHERE AND SO DID MARIO GOOMBELLA AND GOOMBARIO BECAUSE THEYRE PAPER IN CASE STICKER STAR MADE YOU FORGET

AND WHEN THE PORTALS DISAPPEAR BOWSER WAS THERE AND MOTHER BRAIN WAS THERE!

and so was tom nook from animal crossing world eggman from sonic world don paolo from professor layton world the leader of nile from kyle hyde world the meteor from ghost trick world satan from ghost n goblins world manfred von karma kristoph gavin and durk from ace attorney world and donald trump from real world

also all of bowsers minions and all those eggmans robots and satans devily guys and niles hitmen and durks dragons of rebellion were there with them because theyre useless without them.

in other words there was a shit ton of villains from all the worlds.

"AAAAAGH" shouted them all because all the shit tier villains have teamed up and now theyre shitless tier

"dammit theres only four of us and my lasers conveniently running out" shouted samus

"CHARGE" shouted bowser and all his goombas started running

BUT THEY ALL DERPED INTO A PORTAL WHICH SUDDENLY APPEARED

"dammit!" shouted bowser "oh well they were useless anyway" he said and goombella and goombario got #triggered

"what is that" shouted mario

and then out the portal came link from zelda world

"stop!" he shouted at the villain team

and then he joined them

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING" shouted mario

"fuck you mario i told you id be back you want to kill nintendo well NO! theyre great guys making zelda wii u and f yu stop them ill kill you!"

"DAMMIT" shouted mario

"OBJECTION!" shouted the portal and phoenix wright came out "well you guys also killed de love of my life miles edgeworth and IM NOT LETTING YOU ESCAPE THAT" he pointed at them

and the portal kept spitting out people like colored toads and e gadd from mario world dungeon rocco from animal crossing world apollo and athena from ace attorney world kyle hyde from kyle hyde world sonic from sonic world sissel from ghost trick world professor layton and luke from layton world the naked man from ghosts n goblins world and barrylawn from real world

AND IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH

GANON WAS WITH US TOO!

"wow" said me "whys ganon here"

"BECAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSEE" he roared "I WILL DESTROY NINTENDO AND MAKE IT MY OWN AND THEN ILL MAKE THE LEGEND OF GANON WHERE IM THE HEROOOOO!" he roared

"sounds great" said sissel

"hardly something a gentleman would do" said layton

"ENOGUH" shouted miyamoto "ATTAAAACKKK!"

so we all charged forward and mario and the other 3 used theyre usual shit while kyle and layton used logic on everyone and i used my god-author powers to make the fite easier by making ganon join us lol speaking of ganon GANON ATE A BUNCH OF MINIONS AND ROBOTS BECAUSE HES BG MONSTER LIKE THAT YKNOW?

naked man charged at the koopas throwing the knife around but one of them hit him knocking off his armor and then another hit him knocking off his skin

AND DEN GANON CAME DOWN AND KILLED THOSE KOOPAS WITH SCRATCHING

"gwaaar!" roared bowser

"my advanced intelligence says we should kll that monster" shouted don paolo

"we need a weapon" said eggman

"excuse me sir would you like to buy this slot machine gun for a million bells" said tom nook

"sure tanks" eggman grabbed the gun and FIRED AT GANON AND HE FELL ON HIS BACK

and then link jumped and killed ganon with master sword

"fuck" said me "ive been planning that crazy plot twist since chapter 10 you asshole!" and i fired fire out of my firenails

they burned all of links hair off

"LOL" shouted phoenix n de middle of gunfight with don paolo "HIS HEAD IS LIKE AN EGG!"

"NOOOOOO" shouted ink running away

he tripped over professor layton who was on the ground and he knelt down to see if he was dead but layton punched him which is cheap but its also smart which is what layton is smart.

suddenly the room was flled with a massive OBJECTION bubble

"AAAGH MY EARS" everyone clutched theyre ears as the spiky bubble broke ther eardrums

"god dammit apollo nows not de time for chords of steel pracise" shouted athena

"sorry" said apollo "oh look it worked!" he took out gun and shot tom nook and he was ded "FUCK NO NOT MY CLIENT!"

"YEASSS" shouted rocco "FINALLY!"

apollo shrugged "oh well he was an asshole anyway"

so the fight went on and on and they killed a bunch of guys and sissel just kept bringing all the mario team guys back to life with ghost trick powers

eventually even sissel died so there was just mario samus goombella goombario and a few others and only a few villains wer left

"dammit" shouted satan as he was neerly dead again "miyamoto... listen"

"what" said muatoo

"im... im... GAY!"

"REALLY SO AM I" shouted miatto and they fucked but satan died

"DAMMIT" shouted maytto "YOU WILL PAY"

"OBJECTION" shouted apollo "you deserve despair asshole!"

"thats enough" shouted durk pointing gun at them all "stop or ill kill you"

"fuck" said apollo "now what"

"now" said mario "is when we give in and use STICKER STAR SHIT!"

MARIO HIT THE Y BUTTON AND TIME STOPPED AND KERSTI CAME OUT AND PICKED HIM UP

she moved mario over durk and he picked him up but him in his sticker album and quit

"...w...where did he go" shoted maytto

"thanks for these useful tools fucker" sad mario showing him the sticker album

"damn you! i shall not fail here!" miyamoto ran out the door and mario goombella goombario samus apollo justice kyle hyde and me ran after him

we chased him down the halls of nintendo hq which were now full of dead bodys until he reach the game publishing room

he grabbed backup copys of paper mario color splash and metroid federation force and put them in

"NO" shouted mario fireing fireball and it sent miitomo to floor but it was too late the games went through

DATA RECEIVED" said the computer

"NOOOOO" shouted mario "WERE TOO LATE"

"BAHAHAHA! HAVE FUN ON ANOTHER- cough - SHITTY ADVENTURE MARIO!" laughed miyamoto

"hmmmm" said mario "well then well see how shitty it is" he laughed

he then went to the copy machine and made it copy 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 copies which would cost about $999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

"confirm" said mario and it printed 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 copies of both games

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING" shouted miyamoto

"well miyamoto" grinned mario "if this game is awesome youll sell all those copies and get all the profits ever... but if you made it shit then the critics will shit on it and youll go bankrupt."

"wow" said goombella "thats pretty smart."

"well miyamoto" said phoenix and he pointed "DID YOU MAKE IT THE SHIT OR THE SHITTER STAR?"

the room shuck in earthquake

"M-M-M-M-M-MAAAAAAARIOOOOOOOOO" he roared and he fell unconscious

"hey dont die" said mario as he passed them and he dropped de receet for the printing "yu gotta pay dis man hope yu dont fuck up" he laugh and left the room

_AFTER MIYAMOTO_

mario and all the others stood among the dead bodys

"well bye guys" said phoenix and apollo and they went back to ace attorney world even though athena was ded but o well now all the ace attorney games will be dual protagonist like sprint of justice.

but then phoenix came back out and took the sticker album with durk aka the mysterious mastermind

"oh btw we need this guy for krazy kurain adventures k bye" he jumped back into the portal

kyle hyde went back to his own world now that hes finally beaten nile which means his story is finally over and it wasnt even a game

all the others well most of them were dead before anyway.

and ganon will just reincarnate so whatever.

"n-noooo" said link limping back "ill... kill... youuuu..." but maro picked him up and threw him on the portal train to zelda world

"well mario and goombella and goombario and barry" said samus "you all hav my tanks not for stopping federaton force or killing nintendo but for fucking them over irreversibly" and she turned and ran through portal

and mario went back to maro world

and i used my award to teleport back to the states

_MARIO WORLD_

"wow dat was great story bro" said luigi sitting at home "oh if it wer true.."

"WAT IT IS" shouted mario

"lol sure portal travel? and why wud nintendo make another sticker star thats stupid"

"MARIO" shouted goombella at door with computer

"it finally happned!"

they sat down together - very closely together - and read IGNs review of color splash

THE END

THIS FIC HAS MARIO CROSS OVER WITH:

METROID

PHOENIX WRIGHT ACE ATTORNEY

DA LEGEND OF ZELDA

ANIMAL CROSSING

SONIC (MORE LIKE JUST EGGMAN BUT W/E)

KYLE HYDE (HOTEL DUSK & LAST WINDOW)

GHOST TRICK

GHOSTS N GOBLINS

DA REAL WORLD

AND PROFESSOR LAYTON I GUESS

IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED THEM, PLAY EM, THEYRE ALL GREAT EXCEPT SONIC, ESPECALLY PLAY ACE ATTORNEY AND KYLE HYDE GAMES THEY R TOO UNDERATED AND HAVNT BEEN PLAYED BY ANYONE


End file.
